A million little egos

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"Crash" was not only the film chosen Best Picture at the 78th Academy Awards last night; it was also the sound made by the show itself as, metaphorically speaking, it drove into a wall.
It's hard to believe that professional entertainers could have put together a show less entertaining than this year's Oscars, hosted with a smug humorlessness by comic Jon Stewart, a sad and pale shadow of great hosts gone by.

What's black & white and can't take a joke? Hollywood! At the Oscars!

So did anyone enjoy Jon Stewart as host of the Oscars? I DID! ME ME ME ME ME ME!!

Jon Stewart was FUNNY last night (As was Chris Rock but this blog is only four months old so a year ago is, in blog years, ancient history). It's not Stewart's fault that the majority of his in-house audience was comprised of a million little egos who don't watch cable, and if they do, don't understand that the Daily Show is not a fake news show. (see satire : n. 1. A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit. The branch of literature constituting such works. 2. Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity.)

So when Stewart said "I am a loser" and all you heard were those annoying figurative crickets chirping, it was a desperate bid for an easy laugh from a robotic audience that couldn't crack a smile at "... and that is why I think Scientology is right..." or chuckle at "the Oscars are a chance to "see all your favorite stars without having to donate any money to the Democratic party." It's called self-deprecating humor, Hollywood. If you ever watched the Daily Show you would know these things and maybe next year, not be caught on camera furtively glancing around yourself, left to wonder whether or not to laugh.

Where IS a director when you really need one?

What I found particularly NOT funny but Tom Shales of the Washington Post seemed to get uhh, very excited over shall we say, was Streep-Tomlin's impression of a Robert Altman film, as Shales puts it: "replete with overlapping dialogue, half-finished thoughts and constant interruptions. This was a piece of presentation that must have taken weeks to master in rehearsal; it was a double virtuoso performance."

Kudos to Streep & Tomlin for treating their roles as Oscar presenters with dignity and honor commensurate to the award they presented. (meaning, they didn't stumble up there and slur their lines-what can I say? The bar for award presenters is low.) But Tom (shaking my head), while it was a great performance, it wasn't funny. It was an impression--an original and lively impersonation of the work that typifies Altman, well written, clever, and smartly executed--but it wasn't funny.

Maybe Hollywood is out of touch with the rest of the world. Maybe their dresses/tuxes are too tight. Maybe the federal government, the FCC or ABC has put a complete damper on televised spontaneity. Whatever the problem is, YOU, MEDIA PEOPLE, quit trying to pin the blame on the host, the ONLY person at the damn event who IS trying to find the humor in all of this!

So, what do the Oscars have to do with pandas? Absolutely nothing, except that I suggest no host for next year's Oscars, just a live feed to the panda cam.

Whatever the case, JON STEWART YOU didn't fail. Your botox-numbed, self-absorbed in-house audience did. The rest of us? We were laughing our asses off in the comfort of the EST zone.

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